Ah Hem... Awkward...

Today,

Is a beautiful day, isn't it?

I've just been chilling as of late. Hiding away from the neighborhood before they come with their pitchforks and torches in outrage because my dogs killed the bishops cat. No. I'm just kidding.

Mostly.

Actually I've been really sick. Like in that--keep her three feet away from me at all times--kind of sick. It's kind of nice though because I don't have to give awkward hugs anymore or shake anyones sweaty palms. All I have to do is hang up my hands in defeat and shrug, "I'm sick!" And then it's okay.

Being sick is the only way to get out of those kinds of things. Somehow saying things like, "You know, I don't really like hugging." Or the good old, "I'm actually morally opposed to patting each other half heartedly on the back," doesn't work.

I'm actually formulating a plan to be sick all the time so that when someone goes in for an awkward hug I'll never have to endure it again! It's such a dark and evil plan isn't it? But really it is for the good of everyone I've ever had to awkwardly hug. So... in honor of giving up awkward hugs. Here are a few examples of the awkward hugs I've given and also received. I've even captioned them for you!

The classic Tummy Hug. Added plus, the awkward rubbing of hands on back.

The Chinney Chin Chin. Unfortunately, we've all been victims of this hug where the chin either rests or digs into the shoulder of the recipient. Added plus in this, the green man sweater.

The man hug. Mostly done in sports when athletes try and reach out to congratulate one another but sometimes just ends up being strange. In fact, Kobe thinks it's so inappropriate he even turned the cheek. Burn.

The One Armed Hug. Only acceptable if you legitimately really only have one arm. Otherwise it just turns out like this. As you can see George Bush is practically calling out for help. Can you blame him?

The pained expression says it all, doesn't it? So next time you think about going in for one of these... remember... you could always be "sick" and save yourself the trouble. Think about it.